Julie Swindel ♥

Julie Swindel is a mother of eight, yes you read that right EIGHT! When I started exchanging messages with Julie and found out, I thought that perhaps I had found the ultimate Desperate Artwife...

Julie tells me how she tries and keep her eye focused on art during her hectic lifestyle. Having attempted a few art courses she has never managed to finish them and therefore she considers herself largely self-taught. At forty she was able to have her own home studio (protected by a stair-gate!), allowing her to come and go from her work as and when. Julie says "I had my first daughter at 25, before that I had time and I wasted it, I had no perception of how precious life was. If you are desperate enough you learn to be flexible and adaptable. Every experience can be channelled into expression, frustration can become passion seen in a flurry of marks on the canvas or clay at the end of the day when the children are asleep. During day to day tasks a partition of my mind is always open to creativity. If circumstances are limiting I study the ordinary. Necessity has been the mother of my invention."

Julie's painting style takes me back in time to when I was studying art in Italy and experimenting with various subjects for my paintings. Her way of combining different situations in one painting makes the image become a narrative - almost like stills from a motion picture. Some of her work combines dream-like situations and reality, some others in - true Desperate Artwife style - relates to the everyday and private life. Death, memories, resignation, daydream, childhood... 

Dad

Her father's death motivated her to pick up the paint brush again, eager to try and hold his memory before it melted away from her.  Through this  experience, she discovered that art can be used as a form of therapy. Sometimes I think that artists are privileged because if it's hard to verbally express their thoughts and feelings then they are able to use their art instead. It is challenging but it helps in giving you a voice without you having to talk.

Fabrication

In "Fabrication", one can see a woman folding clothes from a washing basket while underneath a man is busy polishing and lining up shoes. Everyday home chores are surrounded by a background of a coastline and a cloudy sky. A flock of white doves are flying around, perhaps symbolising love and peace. Julie explains that this work is about how daydreaming  can help in life but how we also need to embrace the present moment. 

The other mother

I read  "The other mother" as another attempt of healing the soul. Julie painted this in reaction to having to accept the medical profession into her family after the birth of her disabled daughter. A narrow corridor,  green walls,  a blurred vision of a faceless doctor and nurse wearing white scrubs and walking towards you. They are surrounded by big red crosses that seem to shoot out of the painting. The painting is coming outwards, it's unstable and full of tension. Art is a tool that Julie constantly tries to exploit in order to better endure her life. 

Mausoleum of motherhood

"Mausoleum of motherhood"  was painted as a way to stop the swirling storm of images and emotions that were gathering as Julie dealt with the realities of motherhood against what one might think it ought to be (or how the media portrays it to be). 

Julie condenses her life experiences into her work and like a good book, it unfolds stories we all can connect to. And like a good book it remains with you long after you've finished looking at it. 

Amy Dignam 2014 ©

You are not alone ♥

Up days, down days, up days, down days, up days and so on... This is a full time mother's life isn't it? Yes, we ALL have ups and downs, you don't need to be a full time mother to know that. However - and I might be wrong - but I can't help thinking that at times, ups and downs as a full time mother are somehow more tricky to handle.

The thing is that we have a constant responsibility towards our 
children and we need to stay up... even when we're down. We can't just go to work and keep a low profile for the day. We need to be on the go all the time pretending all is well. 


Now I'm going to be totally predictable here and say "children are a blessing!" and they really are! But some people see motherhood as a disease or an obstacle; Something that stops them from being who they really are or want to be. Sometimes the stress and lack of sleep makes us overlook that too. 

The truth is that the first 5 years of our children's lives are so important and exclusive. After that, they go to school and it's all over. They change and what we see of them will be limited. We should enjoy every minute of these first 5 years but it's not that straight forward. I believe that the secret to a happy home is to have a good balanced week.


Sometimes I do feel guilty  for not being able to 'enjoy' my time  with the children more and frustrated at not being able to be as spontaneous as I used to be. At the moment my days have become sort of the same and sometimes, at the end of it, I'm just glad to have survived rather than feeling accomplished and satisfied. The concept of 'enjoying my time with my children' is great but it puts me under a lot more stress and sounds like yet another thing to add to the 'to do' list. 

Full time parents are often misunderstood by society and believed to be some sort of special human kind. Because we're at home with our lovely little ones we are expected to always have fun and enjoy it.  The reality is that it's a lot of hard work!!! Most days I have no time or space for myself and I envy my husbands commuting time. I never particularly liked using the tube or the train but now, the thought of spending an hour in a packed train whilst going through my iPhone playlist sounds like heaven...AND, don't even get me started on lunch breaks! 

We all deal with the lack of time differently. During my down times I look at the state of my house and get even more upset. Nothing is where it should be and I'm sure half of my time and energy goes into looking for things that are never in their place when I need them! Recently, I asked a group of mothers to send me photos of their messy houses with the intent of lifting the spirit of women that, just like me, don't have the time or the resources to keep the house up to scratch. Someone once said that a 'messy house is a happy house'. I'm not sure I entirely agree as when I am going through a bad day I just want to close my eyes and have it all gone. But then an up day happens and I feel peaceful and totally accept the reality of having a house filled with the evidence of happy children. When an up day happens I know that what I feel is the real truth and that truth is...I am happy. I'm happy with my messy house because I've got my trio keeping it...yes messy...but also alive! No doubt the time will come when a down day is on your doorstep, but when that time comes just try and keep it in perspective and remember, you are not alone! 

Sarah's bedroom

Dani's dining room

Anna's kitchen

My house

Amy Dignam 2014 ©

Peas in a Bucket ♥

One thing that I've found myself constantly doing since having children is picking things up from the floor. Not just random things, I mean toys around the house, clothes, books and food! Peas are the worst thing to pick up. You think you've got them all but then after a few days you find another one hiding in some obscure corner, dried and hard like a stone. I hate picking peas up so much it's put me off eating them.

I once counted how many times I'd repeated this same action in one day and was amazed to discover I actually bent down 219 times in 12 hours!

Who needs to work out? I thought. Well "Peas in a Bucket" comes from my awareness of these repetitive actions performed everyday, testing my physical limits and my psychological strength. Of course kneeling down 219 times a day sounds hideous but they’re spread out, so one doesn’t really register it’s happening.

In the film, I aim to gather those moments into one. I do it consecutively without stopping as a way to acknowledge the effort and struggle during my everyday and also to expose, in perhaps a more drastic way, how a simple and infrequent (for some) action like picking something from the floor can become so exhausting and tedious.

Amy Dignam 2013 ©