Tuesday, 7 January 2014

You are not alone ♥

Up days, down days, up days, down days, up days and so on... This is a full time mother's life isn't it? Yes, we ALL have ups and downs, you don't need to be a full time mother to know that. However - and I might be wrong - but I can't help thinking that at times, ups and downs as a full time mother are somehow more tricky to handle.

The thing is that we have a constant responsibility towards our 
children and we need to stay up... even when we're down. We can't just go to work and keep a low profile for the day. We need to be on the go all the time pretending all is well. 

Now I'm going to be totally predictable here and say "children are a blessing!" and they really are! But some people see motherhood as a disease or an obstacle; Something that stops them from being who they really are or want to be. Sometimes the stress and lack of sleep makes us overlook that too. 

The truth is that the first 5 years of our children's lives are so important and exclusive. After that, they go to school and it's all over. They change and what we see of them will be limited. We should enjoy every minute of these first 5 years but it's not that straight forward. I believe that the secret to a happy home is to have a good balanced week.

Sometimes I do feel guilty  for not being able to 'enjoy' my time  with the children more and frustrated at not being able to be as spontaneous as I used to be. At the moment my days have become sort of the same and sometimes, at the end of it, I'm just glad to have survived rather than feeling accomplished and satisfied. The concept of 'enjoying my time with my children' is great but it puts me under a lot more stress and sounds like yet another thing to add to the 'to do' list. 

Full time parents are often misunderstood by society and believed to be some sort of special human kind. Because we're at home with our lovely little ones we are expected to always have fun and enjoy it.  The reality is that it's a lot of hard work!!! Most days I have no time or space for myself and I envy my husbands commuting time. I never particularly liked using the tube or the train but now, the thought of spending an hour in a packed train whilst going through my iPhone playlist sounds like heaven...AND, don't even get me started on lunch breaks! 

We all deal with the lack of time differently. During my down times I look at the state of my house and get even more upset. Nothing is where it should be and I'm sure half of my time and energy goes into looking for things that are never in their place when I need them! Recently, I asked a group of mothers to send me photos of their messy houses with the intent of lifting the spirit of women that, just like me, don't have the time or the resources to keep the house up to scratch. Someone once said that a 'messy house is a happy house'. I'm not sure I entirely agree as when I am going through a bad day I just want to close my eyes and have it all gone. But then an up day happens and I feel peaceful and totally accept the reality of having a house filled with the evidence of happy children. When an up day happens I know that what I feel is the real truth and that truth is...I am happy. I'm happy with my messy house because I've got my trio keeping it...yes messy...but also alive! No doubt the time will come when a down day is on your doorstep, but when that time comes just try and keep it in perspective and remember, you are not alone! 
Sarah's bedroom
Dani's dining room

Anna's kitchen
My house
Amy Dignam 2014 ©

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